Love and marriage the second time around

Couples can choose their own style rather than many first-time wedding traditions

Amanda Fausey-Fegan and Daren Shanholtzer knew exactly what they were getting into when they decided to get married Jan. 2, 2016.  It was a second wedding for both of them – Amanda, 45, was a widow with three sons and Daren, 43, was divorced, with a grown daughter. After saying their vows at the Fenton Village Players Playhouse, they hosted a reception at The Laundry Room in Fenton for close friends and family. “We wanted a small venue that we knew would have quality food and a warm atmosphere,” said Amanda. “My mom suggested The Laundry Room, and it was perfect.”  A lot of planning goes into making a wedding both unique and memorable, whether it’s your first wedding or you have been married before. But some of the pressure may be off to make it a “perfect” wedding, with the most important goal of becoming husband and wife.

 A second wedding is up to the couple’s individual style. Some couples skip customary wedding rituals like having a large bridal party, throwing a bouquet, etc., in favor of more personal touches.  Here are five alternative wedding ceremony ideas for the second-time bride, offered by Annie Lee, founder and head coordinator of her own event planning company, Daughter of Design. 1) You want to wed in a unique, intimate location.    Try this: Host a destination wedding. This takes you far away from your first wedding, and also provides a casual setting with just close family and friends. 2) You want to skIp the traditional walk down the aisle.  Try this: Shake things up a bit and kick off your wedding with the receiving line instead. Play the musical selection of your choice, stand together and welcome each of your guests as they enter the ceremony to take their seats.  Once everyone is settled, the officiant can walk up to you and your fiancé, or the two of you can walk each other up to the altar. For an even more casual idea, have your guests stand in a circle, then you and your fiancé enter the “heart” of the circle, suggests Lee. 3) You want to include your children in the ceremony.  Try this: A simple option is to include your children’s names where parents’ names would traditionally go on the invitation, wording it as if it’s the children giving away their parent. The children could also serve as an honor attendant, be a reader, or even do the officiating. 4) You want to include your parents, but don’t like the idea of being escorted down the aisle.  Try this: Your parents could be part of your wedding party, or have them read a special reading during the ceremony. Your father could also walk your mother or another close family member down the aisle. 5) You want to do something completely unexpected.  Try this: Throw a surprise wedding. Select a date and venue, and then send out invitations requesting guests to attend what appears to be a party for some other occasion. In actuality, they’ll really be coming to your wedding. Why marriage may be better the second time around You’re not looking for someone to “complete” you — you’re older, wiser and more confident. You already know very well that you can’t change your spouse. You’ve had to search your soul and that authenticity and honesty has made you a better person. Life at 40 can make you an entirely different person than you were in your 20s. You have a more realistic view of what marriage is really like, problems and all. With age and a tough divorce comes great wisdom. You realize that marriage is a choice you have to make every single day. You know what you want, and are much more confident about yourself and your needs. You’ve taken ownership of what you did wrong the first time around. You’re picky and determined to make a better choice the second time around. SOURCE: Huffingtonpost.com