This shouldn’t be taken lightly, but there are ways to handle this very sensitive situation
You and your girlfriend have been friends forever, but she has suddenly become an entirely different person and that has totally changed the dynamics of your friendship.
Or, you’ve enjoyed a fairly new friendship with a woman at work and you two clicked so closely that you wanted to include her in your wedding, and now you have found out that she isn’t at all the person you thought she was. Perhaps the reason is financial; it can be very expensive to be in the bridal party.
It’s also a sad truth that friendships change over time, which is why choosing your bridal party requires very serious thought. If you are having serious regret over asking a certain friend to be a bridesmaid, because of her recent attitude or behavior, there are ways you may be able to remedy the situation, and possibly still keep your friendship intact.
• Make sure you've made your expectations known
It’s up to you to let your bridal party know what your expectations are of their role in your wedding. Maybe it’s her first wedding to participate in and she didn’t know what she’s supposed to do. If you let her know now what you expect, maybe her behavior will change and you can move forward with plans.
• Talk with her in person
Have an open and honest in-person conversation with her, a date over coffee or lunch. Start by telling her exactly why you chose her to be a part of your special day.
This is also the time to hear her side of things. Maybe there’s something going on in her life that’s causing her behavior to change. This is not something that can be done via text or email. Make eye contact, pay close attention and really listen.
Although you may have certain expectations of your bridesmaids, it’s vital to remember they have been your friends, first and foremost, and have their own lives going on, too.
• Be straightforward, but not confrontational
If your bridesmaid doesn’t seem receptive to any of your conversations, honesty is the best policy. Tell her how you feel, giving specific examples of how you’ve been disappointed.
Keep the drama out of your conversation and take the high road at all costs. The ball is in her court as to whether she’ll join you at the altar, but she’ll have to demonstrate a true change in heart and attitude.
• Give her the chance to make the decision on her own
After telling each other how you feel, at the end of the day, the decision is hers. The message will have been received and your expectations should be known as you move forward toward your wedding day.
If she decides to back down from her duties, remember that this likely has less to do with you and more with everything that is happening in her life right now. If you can preserve your friendship, let her know that you’d still love for her to attend your wedding as a guest.
Source: The Knot
On average, a bridesmaid will spend about $1,200 to be a member of the bridal party.
Here’s how it breaks down:
Average bridesmaid dress $208
Shoes and accessories $120
Hair and makeup $132
Hotel accommodations $205
Hosting responsibilities $800
(this includes engagement party, bridal showers, bachelorette party)
Wedding gift $125
Source: Wedding Wire